I'm Learning/These Are the Days

I'm learning a lot of things these days.  Some exciting things...some that kind of rip your heart out, throw it on the floor, and squish it around with a big dirty foot. 
I'm starting my own business people's!  After years of being told I should be doing this, I'm finally going to. You're thinking to yourself "Yay!  Finally she's going to do it!" But let me tell you something...I would not be doing this without the support, guidance, and blind faith of a few people who believe in this small town girl and her dream.  These are people who I've only met in person a handful of times.  People who live hundreds of miles away from me. People who have become an extension of my own family.  They are willing to take time away from their families and their jobs to help this terrified country girl make a name for herself in this big ole world.  I'm leaning that THESE are the moments we live for. The moments when someone says YOU WILL NOT FAIL BECAUSE I WON'T LET YOU.  The moments when a perfect stranger reaches out to say "How can I help you?"  The moments when a co-worker says "MY five year plan is based on YOUR five year plan. I'm not leaving you but I don't want to be here for another five years so get it done!"
And then there's, what I call quite simply, my haters.  True, they probably don't hate me. True, they probably have a lot going on and just haven't found time to be supportive. True, I shouldn't let it bother me, but damn it, it does.  I'm learning that it takes a lot more than sharing of blood to make a family.  Learning that you can spend a lifetime trying to be perfect in every way and instead you end up bitter, jealous, and eventually, alone. 
That's not me.  I tell people that I'm proud of them.  I give out high fives like I invented them.  I say thank you, and please, and when the lady working at Subway says "Will that be all?" I say "Yes Ma'am." I want to see my friends shine! I want to see my family happy!  But I'm learning that what I want for others isn't always what they want for me...or maybe it is and they choose not to say so.  (Which, to me, is even sadder than wishing for the worst for someone.)
But guess what?  I'm going to finish this post, pick up my little dog Molly who is sleeping at my feet, and sing and dance in my perfect little kitchen that smells like chocolate until my husband comes home from work.  I'm going to tell him I love him and thank him for being such a hard worker and such a wonderful provider for our perfect little family. And tonight when we lay down, we're going to talk about my business and how SUCCESSFUL it's going to be.  I'm not going to fail.  Trip and stumble and cry and maybe even hide a little? Yes.  But I wasn't born to fail. I was born to shine like white sugar crystals on a red velvet cake pop! ;)